


Reficientes fragmentis

by Wolvesta



Series: Incedit Vitae [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Moving On, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Assault, Slow Burn, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 00:47:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21227003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolvesta/pseuds/Wolvesta
Summary: Eddie tries and tries to get Buck to talk to him.But he won’t.ON HIATUS





	Reficientes fragmentis

**Author's Note:**

> READ PART 1 FIRST

Buck visits Christopher almost every day. 

He picks him up from school, takes him out for ice cream and helps him with his homework until Eddie comes home. He never looks at Eddie or stops to talk to him. Eddie tries and tries to get Buck to talk to him. 

But he won’t. 

He’s only there for Christopher. 

_ The days he doesn’t visit__ are the days that Eddie has off. _

Buck knows that Christopher is a smart boy, but sometimes Buck tends to forget that Christopher is also very observant. 

Buck is at the park with Christopher on a sunny Saturday afternoon. One of the rare days that Buck has the whole day off. 

“Papa?” 

“Yeah, buddy?” Buck asks as he lifts Christopher to sit on the brick wall next to him. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Always what’s up?” 

“Do you still want me?” asks Christopher in a hesitant voice. Well...Buck wasn’t expecting that as a question. Buck is about to answer but before he does: 

“I know that daddy did something bad...and that’s why we don’t live together anymore, and why you aren’t together anymore...but do you still want me as a son?” asks Christopher on the verge of tears. Buck gets off the wall and stands in front of Christopher, he puts his hands on both of his little shoulders. 

“Of course, I still want you as a son. What brought this on buddy?” Christopher then begins to shed a few tears as Buck brings his son in for a hug. He runs his fingers through the soft blonde curls in a comforting gesture. 

“I have a friend as school, wh-who said that her mom an-and dad who separated and the dad doesn’t come visit her an-anymore.” Christopher stutters out through tears. Buck tightens his hold on him. 

“Listen to me Christopher, no matter what happens, no matter where our paths take us, I will always” he pauses to make eye contact with Christopher. “Always be there for you. No matter what day or time it is, I will always be here for you. Do you know why?” asks Buck wiping the tears away from Christopher’s face. He nods no. 

“Because you” Buck boops his nose as he says this which elicits a small smile from Christopher. “are my son and I love you with everything I’ve got, and I always will ok?” 

“Ok, papa. I love you” Christopher says as he leans up to Buck for a hug. 

“I love you too buddy. I always will.” Buck says ruffling his hair and kissing him on top of the head. 

{~} {~} 

His new team isn’t so bad, he just doesn’t know them that well. 

His new team consists of over 15 people, but over 7.5 months, he grows close to two people in particular. 

Rebecca Williams and Michelangelo Cooper. 

Rebecca is a native German EMT who has a passion for knitting and music. 

“I never would have known!” Buck laughs as he interacts with her. 

“I can switch in and out of this accent I have. No one takes a female German EMT seriously”. 

“Well, you don’t have to switch it out with me Rebecca. I don’t judge.” Buck says seriously. 

“Thanks. And call me Becca. Ok, Buckley?” 

“You can call me Buck.” Becca nods in agreement and they run off as the siren rings. 

{~} {~} 

Michelangelo wasn’t what Buck had expected. He didn’t know what to expect of him at first. The captain of his station, Stephen, paired Buck with Michelangelo so he can learn the rope of the station. They get along just ok at first, but they ended up bonding on Buck’s first call at the new station. 

{~} {~} 

_ “Everyone, this is our new recruit, Evan Buckley, transferring from the 118. He has been with them for 2 years so there’s no need to show him how a fire truck works.” The comment elicits laughs from the team and a small smile from Buck. “I expect everyone to treat him with respect as he is one of us now. __Michelangelo!__ You’re going to show him the ropes of the station. Don’t break him” Captain Stephen sends Buck off with __Michelangelo__. _

_ “Hey I’m Michelangelo but you can call me Miguel, follow me I’ll show you around.” Mike smiled. _

_ He’s tall. Not that tall but still... _

_ He was about 2 inches taller than Buck, and he had a body that was curved in all the right ways._

_ While his body and whole demeanor screamed intimidating and cruel, Buck noted that he had soft eyes. Buck noted this as he was shown where everything is. _

_ “And this is sort of the main communal area. We all come here to sleep, play games, and relax after or in between calls.” Buck takes a look around and sees a TV with a PS4, Billiards, comfortable La-Z Boy couches, and a wall containing varies books and movies. _

_ “Well now that you know where everything is, go _ _ find people and make friends.” Buck hesitates to go out to the common area. “Nervous tough guy?” _

_ “Y-yea sorry. Still getting used to transferring after being with my old team for so long. _ _ ..they _ _ were family _ _ ” _

_ Mike asked__ why he transferred if they were his family. _

_ Buck told him it was a breach of trust of someone. _

_Mike didn’t ask him to elaborate. He didn’t have time after the siren went off. _

_ “Ready to roll man?” asks Mike.__ Buck nods in an affirmation and tries to ignore the beat of his fast pacing heart as he hears it’s a car pileup. _

_ Stephen explains that there’s a two-car pileup__ with one confirmed dead and two others critically hurt. They get to the scene and it’s brutal. _

_ A drunk driver collided into a car with a woman and her daughter, who is still little. They can get the daughter out of the car and get to work on the mom. The daughter has no injuries but is scared. _

_ She wants her mom, but Buck picks her up and distracts her. _

_ “Hey there, I’m Buck what’s _ _ your _ _ name?” _

_ “Rhyan,” the little girl says in a small voice. _

_ “Where’s my mom?” asks Rhyan on the verge of tears _

_ “Um...here.” Buck holds his arms out and Rhyan walks into them, he picks her up and turns her away from the scene. _

_ “Want to play a game? I want to play a game.” Rhyan nods yes. _

_ “Ok let’s play I, Spy. You go first.” Buck says as he looks back at his crew. He sees Mike__ and Becca give a thumbs up. Indicating that they are almost done. He sees a gurney wheeled towards the car. He stops when he feels Rhyan shaking in his arms. _

_ “Buck...I’m scared...” Rhyan says in a trembling voice _

_ “I know...and it’s ok to be scared.” _

_ “It is?” _

_ “Yea, even I get scared sometimes and it’s ok. You know why? When you’re scared, it means you can cry, and when you cry, someone can come to help you. And that’s not scary right?” He asks as she buries her head in his shoulder. _

_ “When I’m scared, my momma sings me a song,” Rhyan says in a muffled voice. _

_ “Will that help you not be afraid?” he asks as he sees the mother being put on the gurney. _

_ “I have a song...um...my sister used to sing this to me when I was scared: _

🎵 _ Let's go in the garden _

_ You'll find something waiting Right there where you left it _

_ Lying upside down _

_ When you finally find _ _ it _

_ You'll see how it's faded _

_ The _ _ underside is lighter _

_ When you turn it around, _

_ Everything stays Right where you left it Everything stays _

_ But it still changes _

_ Ever so slightly _

_ Daily and nightly _

_ In little ways _

_ When everything stays _ _ 🎵 _

_ Buck stops singing when he fells Rhyan fall asleep on him. He hops into the front of the ambulance and rides it to the hospital. _ _ Mike__ is driving while Becca and two others are stabilizing the mother. _

_ “You’re good with kids,” Mike__ whispers so as not to wake up the girl. _

_ “Thanks. Will the mom be ok?” _

_ “She will be,” says _ _ Mi__ke _

_ “So will her baby.” _

_ They were both right _

{~} {~} 

“If you ever need anything, anything at all...I got your back.” Mike says as he pats Buck’s back and begins to remove his gear. 

“Thanks. S-same here.” Buck says pausing removing his gear but continues. 

_ He tries to ignore__ the pang of pain and heartbreak as he__ remembers the same words spoken to him by Eddie, not so long ago. _

{~} {~} 

After a total of 8 months of working together, Mike asks Buck a question. 

It was a cloudy but still warm September day and Buck was on his way out of the station when he was stopped by Mike. 

“Want to go out for lunch or dinner sometime soon?” 

Buck nods in confirmation, looking everywhere but Mike’s hazel eyes, trying to suppress the blush and heat creeping up his face. He accepted after a long while debating with himself. 

{~} {~} 

_ “Do you want to go out with this man Evan?” asks his therapist the very same day. _

_ “I do but...” Buck hesitates in his answer. His therapist is patient__ in waiting for an answer. _

_ “But I’m scared...terrified even of what is going to happen.” _

_ “Are you expecting something to happen?” _

_ “No...honestly, I didn’t think I would find anyone after Eddie. And I do want to go out with him, but what if it gets serious?” _

_ “Are you afraid of the commitment?” _

_ “No that’s not it...I’m just afraid that I’ll get hurt again”. _

_ “Don’t be afraid to let someone in again.” _

{~} {~} 

They both agreed to lunch at Leaning Tower Pizza, one of Buck’s favorite places to eat. 

Lunch was fun and sweet and not at all pressuring for Buck. He was comfortable with Mike. Mike talked about his life and didn’t ask Buck any uncomfortable questions. They learned so much about each other. 

Mike was a secret avid Pixar fan while Buck was a sucker for John Wick style movies. 

Buck learned that Mike was 31 years old and originally from Chicago. 

“So is it true that Chicago is home to the deep dish pizza? Sorry that LA Pizza might not be as good as in Chicago” Buck laughed as he munched on his pizza. 

“Honestly? I’m not the kind of person to judge pizza. As long as it doesn’t have pineapple, I don’t care where it’s from” Mike says back smiling 

_ That oh so perfect smile _

“Cheers to that” 

They shared the Cookie Monster Special for dessert 

It’s perfect 

{~} {~} 

About 2 months later, on a chilly 60°F day, Mike kissed Buck 

Slowly, giving Buck a chance to back down if needed 

His knees went weak as the taller man bent down to kiss him 

He didn’t pull away 

He was happy 

{~} {~} 

_ “I don’t know if I should tell _ _ him about what happened...” _

_ “You trust this man right Evan?” _

_ “With my life, on and off the field” _

_ “How long how you two been going out?” _

_ “Well we don’t exactly have a label just yet...we’ve only been going out for almost__ 7 _ _ months but I think things are starting to get serious...I think I’m falling in love with him, and that’s scaring me because the last time I fell this hard was with Eddie...” Buck says as he lifts a hand to scrub down his face. _

_ “I’m conflicted right now because I want to tell him everything, but what if he makes fun of me or thinks I’m disgusting for letting It happen to me...rationally I know that he isn’t that kind of person...but I’m just so scared” Buck says as he feels his voice begin to crack. _

_ “Listen to Evan. _ _ .. I’m not__ exactly qualified as a relationship counselor, but I can tell you this. From what I’ve heard, this Mike cares for you, and he would want you to be happy. Maybe get the opinions and advice from people you trust most and then go from there. But personally, if you want to trust Mike, or at least see if he’ll stick around, then tell him and that way you can commit to this relationship fully and you can let go of this anxiety when you are with him.__ But remember that this is a big step, and only you can be 100% comfortable with it _ _ ” _

_ Buck nods as he processes the information. _

_ He knows what he has to do _

_ “Thank you,__ Dr. Kiernan. _ _ ” _

_ “Of course, Evan. Let me know how it goes when I see you next week” _

{~} {~} 

Buck was Maddie’s kitchen, setting the table for the two of them while Maddie cooked his favorite garlic tomato pasta.   
“Don’t get used to this Evan” Maddie says in a smile as she places the pot of pasta in the middle of the table while Buck pours them both some wine from her cabinet. 

They catch up, even though they get together every week. But Buck hasn’t told Maddie about Mike yet, he wants to keep him for himself for a little while, but he has to ask her this question. 

“I have something to tell you, Maddie,” Buck says after he takes a deep swig of his wine. Maddie puts her glass down and leans forward, indicating that she’s listening. 

“Ok...this isn’t easy for me to say this...but I’ve been seeing someone” Buck waits for Maddie to respond, but when he doesn’t hear anything he looks up and sees Maddie smiling. 

“Really?” 

“Yea...his name is Michelangelo...or Mike for short” Buck says, feeling a weight come off of his shoulders. He doesn’t know why he was nervous to tell Maddie about this, she doesn’t judge him. Buck ends up spending the next hour telling Maddie the story of how they met, how their first date went, and how awesome he is. 

“I trust him, on and off the field no matter what...” 

“But?” 

“But I want to tell him” 

“Tell him what-” Maddie asks in confusion then understands when the implications sink. 

“Evan...you know that I love you and I support you no matter what right?” Maddie asks as Buck as he nods. “I just want to make sure you are 100% ready for that because this is a big step in the relationship. No matter what you decide, I’ll support you no matter what. But first, I want to meet him.” 

“What you want to size him up first?” 

“Always” 

{~} {~} 

He debated with himself for almost a week on how he is going to tell Mike about it. 

_ “Tell him in a place where you are comfortable and when you are ready” _

Maddie had told him this 

He’ll do it tonight 

Mike is supposed to come over to his apartment and cook for both of them 

_ “I didn’t know you could cook!” Buck says as he walks into Mike’s apartment for the first time. The scent of chicken wafting through the air as soon as Buck walked in. _

_ “I love cooking. I just never have the chance to” Mike says as he places a bowl of chicken and pork mixed with rice. _

_ “Here try this. It’s my specialty” _

_ Buck takes a spoonful of everything mixed and eats it. _

_ “Oh my god _ _ ...” Buck _ _ melts at the delicious flavors _

“Hello, my dear,” says Mike as he enters Buck’s apartment. He shuts the door behind him and gives Buck a soft kiss. It makes Buck melt, even after 7 months of dating, he still goes weak in the knees. Buck smiles and places his hands on Mike’s face and runs his fingers through the short yet vibrant curly red hair. 

“Any requests tonight?” asks Mike as he pulls back and places a bottle of water in Buck’s hand. 

“Surprise me, but can it be light tonight?” Buck asks opening the bottle and taking a sip while Mike nods. 

The next hour shows Mike flowing around the kitchen, talking to Buck as he cooks while Buck sets the table. When Buck looks up, it almost as if Mike is dancing. 

_ Ever so elegantly _

{~} {~} 

Mike ends up making them both a Spinach salad with breaded chicken, grapefruit, mozzarella cheese, and candied walnuts. 

They both eat in comfortable peaceful silence. 

Once dinner was over:

_ It felt too soon _

Buck took a long sip of his wine, bracing himself for a conversation that he doesn’t even want to have 

_ But he has to, he trusts Mike and doesn’t want secrets. _

_ “_Miguel? I...I need to talk to you ” Buck asks and Mike knows that something is up. Buck calls him Mike all the time just as he calls Buck Evan all the time as he loves his name. 

_ The only time he called him Miguel was when he was having an asthma attack at the fire station. _

_ Saying the name Miguel means an emergency, Buck is in trouble, or a serious conversation is about to happen. _

Mike sits across Buck at the kitchen table and waits for him to begin. Mike feels his heart pick up when he sees Buck take a deep breath in and out. Buck unconsciously reaches out a hand and Mike immediately takes it. 

“I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while, but it isn’t easy for me to say. Before I say it, I want you to know that I’m in therapy for it, and I am getting the appropriate help.” Mike looks up, indicating that he’s listening wholeheartedly and squeezes Buck’s hand in encouragement. Buck takes another deep breath in and out. 

“I was sexually assaulted” 

**Author's Note:**

> I'M BACK!!!  
Sorry, this took so long, I had midterms and working on some other stories. Have a suggestion for a 9-1-1 story? DM on my Tumblr: Wolvesta20  
This chapter focused on Buck moving on.  
Next chapter will shift gears to Eddie and the 118.


End file.
